Meditation Verse:
Let me search and try my ways, and turn again to the Lord.
(Based on Lamentations 3:40)
It’s time to set resolutions again!
Each year we make lists and vision boards filled with things we want to have and accomplish in the next year. Now I’m not saying there is anything wrong with doing that, especially if we take the time to seek God first and ensure what we’re asking for is in His will for us.
The problem is, we leave out a key aspect that is critical to our success. It's the reason we keep listing the same things year after year, but never accomplish them.
Ready for it?
We don’t try our ways to see if they please God!
We can look outwardly and easily identify the things we want or obstacles preventing us from obtaining them, but we lack the introspection necessary to identify how we’re getting in our own way. We don’t take the time to look deeply into who we are or the things we do and weigh those things against God’s word to see if they are pleasing to Him.
I know you’ve heard the statement, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing, hoping for different results.” And it’s true. No matter how good our intentions are, how expertly crafted our vision board is, or how many prayers and affirmations we speak, nothing in our lives will change until we do.
This part isn’t as easy as gluing pictures to a board. It requires looking at who we are in a very honest way.
Are there certain criticisms we hear from people often about our attitude or the way we respond to things?
Do we justify things we know are wrong?
Are we harboring bitterness or resentment for someone who hurt us?
We have to let go of everything we do that isn’t pleasing to God if we want to receive what God wants to give us. A clean heart allows God to move through us, creating His will on earth through and with us.
Here are some steps to help us get started:
1. Begin with Prayer: Ask the Holy Spirit to open your heart so you can see your faults. Some of these issues will come to you quickly, others operate in our blind spots, so it takes the Holy Spirit to help us really see ourselves as we are.
Father God, I realize there are some things about me that aren’t pleasing to you. Please allow Your Holy Spirit to reveal to me the things I may not see or be ready to admit. Soften my heart so Your words mean more than my feelings. Expose me to me. I want my ways to please You and I’m ready to get rid of everything that doesn’t. In Jesus’ name I pray.
2. Make a List. Write all of your ways. As you write, you may find yourself trying to justify or rationalize some of your behaviors. Afterall, everyone does this or others have said it’s understandable and even okay for you to do that, right?
Write it anyway!
The Holy Spirit is letting you know something is wrong there. Don’t ignore it to appease your feelings.
Leave an asterisk beside it and take it to the word of God. Personally, I don’t care who or how many say something is okay. If God’s word says it is displeasing to Him, then that's the final word on it. He holds the ultimate authority.
Maybe you operate on feelings, which is dangerous. Feelings change quickly and the Bible tells us the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked (Jeremiah 17:9). Don’t rely on something as fickle as feelings to judge whether something is right or wrong. Allow God’s word to define that for you as you renew your mind.
Here's how that may look:
My Ways | What I Think | What God Says | Renewed Mind Perspective |
People tell me sometimes the things I say hurt their feelings. | I’m just being honest. I don’t mean to hurt their feelings. Am I supposed to lie? If they don’t want truth, they shouldn’t come to me. Everyone knows I’m a straight shooter. | · A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare. (Proverbs 15:1 NLT) · Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. (Colossians 4:6 ESV) · The words of a wise man’s mouth win him favor, but the lips of a fool consume him. (Ecclesiastes 10:12 AMP) | I can revise the way that I speak, so my words are gentler and do not cause offense. |
I can get defensive when I feel attacked. | Who would just allow someone to attack them? I don’t think there is anything wrong with me defending myself. And I can’t help it, this is just who I am. I’m a product of my environment. | · Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” (Romans 12:19 ESV) · For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. (2 Tomothy 1:7 ESV) · Casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7 ESV) | God knows the truth about every situation. He will get revenge on my behalf, so I don’t have to defend or explain myself. When I feel defensive, I will give it to God instead of trying to handle it on my own. I’m a new creation and am no longer a slave to who I used to be. |
I’m having a hard time forgiving Shauna for hurting me. | She hurt me deeply and I just can’t seem to get past it. I want to let it go, but every time it comes up again, I feel pain, anger, resentment, and it has changed how I deal with others. | · Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32 ESV) · But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (Matthew 6:15 ESV) Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses. (Proverbs 10:12 ESV) | I need God’s forgiveness more than I need to hold on to this offense. I cannot risk separating myself from God or His forgiveness to massage my feelings. I need God to heal my heart so I don’t continue bleeding on people who didn’t hurt me or penalizing those who did. |
3. Repent and Renounce. Ask God to forgive you for your ways. Call them out one by one. During repentance, we agree with God that this thing is wrong, we agree that we have committed the offense, and we ask him to forgive us for it. We also renounce the sin, making it clear that our desire is to please God and not continue in sinful practices. We’re going to turn from our ways and back to the Lord.
· God, I admit that sometimes I say things that hurt people. It wasn’t my intent, but it happened. I’ve sinned against you and others in this way and I am sorry. Please remove that sin from me and keep me so I don’t repeat it again. Teach me how to season my words so they please You.
· Father, I can get defensive when I feel attacked. I admit that is wrong and repent for doing so. Please forgive me for not trusting that you will get revenge on my behalf. I’m sorry for the people I’ve hurt in this way because of my unbelief. Give me the strength to bring those burdens to You, to trust that vengeance is Yours and You will repay.
· Lord, I have been holding bitterness against Shauna for hurting me. I repent for that. I know You will not forgive me if I don’t forgive others, and I desperately need Your forgiveness every day of my life. Help me to make the choice to forgive daily just as freely as You choose to forgive me. I forgive Shauna and release my right to be offended.
4. Ask for Help. This is my favorite step! Do you know how hard it would be to try to do all of this on our own? But guess what? You don’t have to! The Holy Spirit is our GPS, always available to lead and guide us in the path of righteousness. Make sure to surrender your will for the will of God, ask the Holy Spirit to take the lead, and humble yourself enough to follow, even when you don’t want to.
Father God, I’m feeling overwhelmed right now. I want to revert back to old behaviors that aren’t pleasing to You and that keep me stagnant. Please allow Your Holy Spirit to guide me back into Your perfect peace and give me the endurance to stay there regardless of what happens. I cut every chord that bound me to that behavior pattern and break every curse it has caused over my life in the name of Jesus.
5. Walk in the New. Those wicked ways have been with us for years. For many of us, they’re all we’ve ever known, so they will attempt to reconnect themselves to us. In those moments, we will be tempted to return to what is comfortable and known.
Resist the temptation to return to them every time they reappear.
Resistance is a muscle that we have to strengthen daily. The more we use it, the stronger it becomes. Over time, we won’t even have to think about it, the resistance will happen as a result of muscle memory, automatically kicking in when we’re confronted with that temptation.
For example:
Tiffany: I can’t believe he cheated on me again. I’m so tired of him!
What we want to say: Girl, I’m so sick of hearing you complain about that man! You won’t leave him, so why do you keep talking about it? I have better things to do with my time than listen to this every other week!
Ask for help: Holy Spirit, help me season my words so they don’t cause offense.
What we choose to say instead: Tiffany, I can hear this is bothering you. Before I end the call, would you like me to pray with you for God to grant you clarity and strength to deal with this situation in a way that is pleasing to Him?
Responding this way will probably stop the calls as well because people who want to vent repeatedly don’t usually want prayer. They want sympathy, and when you don’t provide it, they’ll find a new source.
It’s a win-win!
Our ungodly ways are the biggest hinderance to getting everything God has for us. Let’s put down our egos, humble ourselves and earnestly seek God to identify everything that is not pleasing to Him. It’s time take off those grave clothes that have been in the way. We’re ready to live the life God ordained for us!
This year, we’re taking those resolutions from fantasies and to visions inspired and approved by God. I believe He will bring them to pass if we allow the Holy Spirit to do the work to get our hearts in order and ensure our ways please God!
Happy New Year!